How to End Mealtime Battles With Your Picky Eater: Tips From a Pediatrician

Dr. Emily Lieberman is a board-certified pediatrician with over a decade of experience caring for children and adolescents. She earned her undergraduate degree from Northwestern University and her medical degree from the University of Illinois College of Medicine, completing her pediatric residency at Children’s Memorial Hospital in Chicago. A passionate advocate for child health and safety, Dr. Lieberman uses her voice to promote preventive care and family-centered strategies in clinical and community settings.

Here’s a glimpse of what you’ll learn:

[2:36] Common concerns parents have about toddlers not eating enough fruits, vegetables, and proteins
[3:21] Why modeling healthy eating and having family meals is crucial for children’s nutrition habits
[5:11] How preparing separate meals increases stress and undermines mealtime consistency
[10:03] The negative impact of constant snacking on kids’ appetite and long-term health
[12:26] Tips for reducing fear of unfamiliar foods and encouraging children to try new things
[23:19] How empowering young children to pack balanced lunches builds independence and healthy habits

In this episode…

Do family dinners often turn into power struggles over what your child will or won’t eat? Are you stuck in a cycle of making multiple meals just to avoid tantrums at the table? If you’re tired of catering to picky eaters and longing for more peaceful, productive mealtimes, you’re not alone. How can parents reclaim control without turning dinner into a battlefield?

According to Dr. Emily Lieberman, a board-certified pediatrician specializing in child nutrition and behavior, the key is to serve one family meal — no exceptions, no substitutions. She highlights the importance of modeling healthy eating behaviors and creating consistent mealtime expectations. When parents stop offering alternate meals and resist the urge to give in to tantrums, stress levels drop, and children begin to engage with a wider variety of foods. Dr. Lieberman also encourages incorporating children into the meal prep process, which fosters curiosity and ownership over what they eat.

In this episode of The Coping Podcast, Dr. Leigh Weisz sits down with Dr. Emily Lieberman to discuss how parents can end mealtime battles with their picky eaters. They explore the power of the “no thank you bite,” why snacking habits impact productive dinners, and how to keep mealtimes positive and consistent. Dr. Lieberman also gives advice on when to seek professional help for extreme eating behaviors.

Resources Mentioned in this episode

Quotable Moments

“I will be the first to tell you that my children were super picky when they were little.”
“It’s okay to put your kid to bed without dinner. They will be okay in the morning.”
“We no longer want to do the clean plate club situation just because of childhood obesity.”
“Helping kids, even young kids, get hands-on experience with cooking… helps them enjoy food.”
“Obesity is a tremendous problem in America… children who are obese are really at high risk as adults.”

Action Steps

Establish a consistent family meal routine: Creating predictable mealtimes helps children feel secure and more willing to try new foods.
Model healthy eating behaviors: When parents eat a variety of foods, children are more likely to adopt those habits themselves.
Offer only one meal with no exceptions: Reducing mealtime negotiations lowers stress and teaches children to accept a broader range of foods.
Involve kids in meal prep and packing lunches: Giving children ownership encourages curiosity and increases their willingness to try new foods.
Use the “no thank you bite” strategy: Encouraging at least one bite of each food helps reduce food-related fear and expands palates.

Sponsor for this episode…

This episode is brought to you by Coping Partners.

Coping Partners is a mental health practice dedicated to helping children, adolescents, and adults manage various challenges including anxiety, divorce, behavioral issues, relationship problems and much more in the Chicago suburbs.

Our practitioners are devoted to building on our clients’ strengths and bolstering weaknesses.

To gain insight and tools for getting unstuck check out our website at CopingPartners.com, email us at support@copingpartners.com.

Episode Transcript:

Intro: 00:01

Welcome to The Coping Podcast, where we share strategies for coping with the stressors of life, especially the difficulties of parenting. And here is your host, doctor Lee Weiss.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 00:15

This is Dr. Leigh Weisz. I am the host of The Coping Podcast, where I feature top experts on topics like raising healthy children, parenting, and so much more. Past guests include Dr. Eli Lebowitz, neuropsychologist Dr. Lisa Novak, nutritionist Lara Field, and many more. Just a quick disclaimer the information provided is for educational and informational purposes only. This is not intended to provide mental health treatment and does not constitute a client therapist relationship.

The information provided is not a replacement for being assessed and evaluated by a licensed professional, and is not intended to replace mental health or medical advice. This episode is brought to you by Coping Partners. Coping Partners is a mental health practice in the Chicago suburbs dedicated to helping children, adolescents and adults. We help manage various challenges including anxiety, divorce, behavioral issues, relationship problems, and much more.

Please check out more episodes of our podcast and our website at copingpartners.com, and you can contact us with any questions you have. Before we dive into today’s topic, I wanted to introduce our guest, Dr. Emily Lieberman. Dr. Emily Lieberman is a board certified pediatrician in the Chicagoland area. She did her undergrad at Northwestern University and received her MD from the University of Illinois in Chicago. She completed her residency at Children’s Memorial Hospital, now known as Lurie Children’s Hospital.

In her free time, she spends time with her husband and her two girls. She also uses her voice as a pediatrician to help prevent firearm injuries in youth. She is the Executive Director and Founder of On Call for Kids, which is a coalition of healthcare workers aimed at providing evidence-based research to decrease firearm injuries in children. Very impressive. Today we’re going to discuss picky eaters and learn from Dr. Lieberman how she helps the kids and families she works with to tackle this issue.

So thank you, Dr. Lieberman, for being here today.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 02:25

Thank you for inviting me.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 02:26

Absolutely. So tell us a little bit about what you hear most commonly from parents that you work with around their kids eating. What are their most common concerns?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 02:36

This is a really common topic I see in my everyday practice. Lots of parents are worried that their kids aren’t getting all the important food groups to fuel their body and fuel their brain for proper development, specifically that toddler age food groups or toddler aged children who are just not getting fruits and vegetables and proteins, and they really prefer to drink their milk and have carbohydrate based snacks. So this is something we talk about often to try to come up with strategies to ensure that we’re getting all the right nutrients for our brain and body.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 03:11

Yes, I can imagine that comes up a lot with toddlers. And what are some of the go to kind of strategies that you share with parents to try?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 03:21

So the most important thing to me is that we serve as good role models for our children. And so I think one of the best strategies is actually promoting this healthy eating in the house and showing our children how we are doing it. And so I really try to emphasize if there could be one meal a day where the whole family sits down together and has the same food together, that is the best example to set for our children. This modeling behavior not only can help teach kids how to sit patiently and nicely at a table, but also to eat exactly what the parent is eating. So if there’s a parent who doesn’t like fruits and vegetables and you know they’re eating something unhealthy, you can’t expect the child to do it too.

So it’s not feasible for every single family to have one sit down meal every single day of the week. But even if you could find a couple times a week that you dedicate to sitting down as a family, talking as a family, and eating the exact same food, with no exceptions, I think this is the best way to help provide more food groups and introduce your children to more food. And the key here, though, was no exceptions. So do not give your child preferred food at this family sit down meal. It’s offering only what is served and what the family is eating.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 04:43

No, that makes such good sense. Because, you know, really, when kids start the little tantrums around, I don’t like that food. And parents automatically go to the place of, okay, well, I don’t want my kid to be hungry, so I’m going to get them something. They like a preferred food, and I hear this a lot in my practice, where then they become like short order cooks who are making one food for this child and one food for this child. And there is no semblance of like a family meal where this is what’s being served.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 05:11

Absolutely. This creates lots of stress. Like when you’re becoming a short order cook on the entire family unit, which can also decrease, like effective bonding at dinner time with your children cause resentment. There’s a lot of things on the parent end that can make it very stressful. So this actually takes away all of the stress out of dinner time.

And I will be the first to tell you that my children were super picky when they were little, and I used to be a short order cook, and I then decided this was really important for me to take my own advice as well. And I will admit honestly that there were many nights that I cried at the dinner table along with my children while we were all tantruming trying to eat the same food together. So no one is immune from this. Not even a pediatrician. But really, once we all were given one meal, the same fruit, the same vegetable, the same protein, with no exceptions, it actually took so much stress out of dinner time for everyone.

We could focus on conversation with our children. We could, you know, really hear about their day and their interests instead of fighting over, are you going to eat this or not? And that’s really translated in my practice. My patients have really enjoyed this tip and felt like it was a lot less stressful. And then what I would say to families is if the child doesn’t want to eat what you’ve provided, who cares?

We don’t care. They’ll eat breakfast. There’s nothing about that meal that requires that that they have to have. It’s not what’s going to keep them sleeping through the night. So if they don’t eat it, don’t fight about it.

Just don’t offer anything else. Don’t offer it. Don’t offer milk. Don’t offer a snack. It’s breakfast the next morning and then nobody’s fighting.

Nobody is upset. And dinner is a happy time.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 06:58

And over time the kid you know, of course, gets hungry and is much more likely to eat if they know that that arguing and negotiating isn’t going to get mom or dad to suddenly, magically put something else that they prefer in front of them. So they start to figure it out. And even if they don’t eat every single thing that’s on the plate, you know they’re going to eat something.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 07:16

I will tell you now from personal experience, that having two kids who were picky eaters, they now eat like escargot and mussels and anything that you put in front of them, there isn’t a vegetable or protein that they will not eat. And again, I was a mother who was crying because my children ate only macaroni and cheese and chicken nuggets. Like when they were toddler age, right?

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 07:40

But I love that you share that because it is true. You know, as a pediatrician, you know, as the expert parents feel ashamed, like they’re doing something wrong. I’m sure when they come to you and they say, my kid eats five foods, you know, and it’s true that some kids are naturally a little bit more, I would say adventurous eaters than others. Some are a little bit more rigid in terms of like what they’re open to trying. But we also know from the research, you know, it takes I think it’s like 8 to 15 times something really huge of repeating a food before the child may like it and that’s okay.

And so if we don’t give up after a few tries, that’s part of the battle too.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 08:21

Exactly, exactly. So this is something that has really proven to be helpful with picky eaters. And this is my first go to with families that I think has been really successful.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 08:32

Do you know like what stage or age is it most common? Because I know when they’re really little, we expect them to be a little pickier. Do you know, kind of like at what point that.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 08:41

Actually when they’re first starting to eat, like when we’re introducing foods to them at 4 to 6 months, they tend to be really good eaters and they’ll eat anything. And parents get so excited like, oh my gosh, they’re eating every single vegetable we offer. And it’s that, you know, turning into that 12 months to 24 months that they start to have preferences and realize, oh, you gave me those Cheerios that I really liked and the goldfish that you carry around and all that. And they often start to substitute like nutritious meals with some of these snacks that are really not healthy for them. So it’s a really another key is to not substitute snacks for your core nutritious meals, and to only utilize snacks if you’ve been doing a good job with your nutritious meals.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 09:27

Oh, that’s so yeah, that’s so important. I think about again, like like you said, we’re not immune. But I think about what my kids were much younger and having like that bag. Right. It’s like the Mary Poppins bag that had everything you could imagine.

Right? You had your sippy cup of this and you had your snacks. And I think it’s kind of an American thing, right? That we are so worried that they’re going to be hungry at the park and not be able to wait to eat, that we provide them with like, endless snack opportunities. But then they come to the table and they’re not as hungry.

How does that affect their, you know, their willingness to try foods? What what do you think about that?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 10:03

I think it very much negatively impacts it. So that’s why I really suggest using snacks as healthy snacks. So fruits and vegetables or a lean protein instead of all these carbohydrate based snacks. I mean, obesity is a tremendous problem in America. And what we actually know is that children who are obese are really at high risk of being obese as adults as well.

And so their BMI, even as a young child as young as two, is actually what we expect to stay for adulthood as well. And so really, it’s our opportunity in their youth to give them the skills, the life skills to be healthy and to not have food be so tied into like achievement, being good boredom. We have to separate that and and and make food not a reward. And I think that helps with picky eating as well. If we’re not offering as many snacks, they’re likely to be healthier and all around.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 11:03

That’s a yeah. No, that’s that’s a really good point. I don’t know, there’s a book by Pamela Druckerman and she was a American. I’m going to try to get this right. She was an American journalist, but she raised her kids in France.

And it’s very funny how she talks about, like, how kids in France get just a very different from early on kind of culinary education. Like, they are taught that pureed carrots are delicious, you know, and they don’t get as many snacks, if any, in between meals. And so they come to the dinner table, like ready to enjoy the carrots, you know. But I think it is it’s interesting because we, we talk about in our, in psychology, we talk about like getting kids to tolerate these feelings of discomfort or sadness or boredom. And I would say hunger is one that we’re not great at either.

Like, again, it’s it’s our kids are hungry and we are so frantic instead of just saying, okay, well, there’s ten more minutes till dinner. Go distract yourself, you know, and then they come hungry. So anyway, very, very interesting. What would you say are some strategies? You were saying not to reward kids with food, which makes sense.

But what about. I don’t know how you feel about rewarding kids for trying new foods. Not with food, but with other things. Is that something you. Yes, I love that.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 12:26

So I think sometimes some of the issue for children is actually fear of the unknown. And so if something doesn’t look appetizing to them, they don’t want to taste it just because they don’t know what it is. Oddly, I don’t know if this happened with your children, but something chocolate never looked unappetizing to my children. But like a vegetable or a protein maybe. Yeah, but in any event, I really also try to emphasize a no thank you bite.

So I think we really have changed now in medicine and as a country, we no longer want to do the clean plate club situation just because of childhood obesity. So you don’t need to finish your plate. But we do need to emphasize that you need to try food before you say that you don’t like it. So the no thank you bite would be even if you’re kind of nervous about what it looks like trusting your family, that your family put before you something that isn’t dangerous and that is edible and that is healthy for you, and then you get the autonomy as a child to decide whether or not you liked it. But you have to try it.

And if you don’t want more, you can say, no thank you. But you don’t get to say no without that first bite to see what you think.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 13:36

I love that, I love that, yeah, yeah. Because again, some things aren’t as maybe appealing to the eye, you know, or there’s kids who, sensory wise are going to be unlikely to, to want a mushy food or a hard food or whatever the issue is, but to at least try it. Yeah. So and then you’re saying it’s okay. It’s okay.

Because some kids I know, they just aren’t motivated to try it. You’re saying it’s okay to like to, like, give them a sticker or give them something as a reward for trying a new food?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 14:07

I think so. Absolutely. I would try not to reward with food, like you said, but I do think it’s okay. And I think we should acknowledge and be proud of them, even if they didn’t like it. That doesn’t mean you’re preparing a different meal.

But we say like, you know, Johnny, I’m so proud of you for trying that. That was really great. And we can see next time what you think, or maybe even taking it one step further. Oh, you didn’t like it? Well, maybe next time you can help me in the kitchen, and we can figure out ways that it might be more tasty to you.

Because I think when kids, even young kids, get, like, hands on experience with the cooking, they’re touching it. They’re a part of the whole process. It’s less scary to them, and they have some more ownership in it, and it helps them enjoy the food a little bit more?

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 14:53

No, I love that idea of kind of like not just accepting I hate that food and it’s out forever. But, you know, let’s think about what might make it tastier, as you said. I know for for some kids they want to try it, you know, cooked differently or maybe crunchy, you know, like a raw cara versus a cooked carrot. And yeah. And instead of just giving up on the carrots completely, you know, let’s, let’s kind of figure out what else we can other ways we can try it or even just like holding it, you know, putting it in our mouth and just letting it sit in the mouth and, you know, even if they’re actually not eating it, just getting more and more comfortable that that food isn’t scary or dangerous.

It’s just different than they’re used to.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 15:35

Exactly.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 15:36

Yeah. So and you said, you know, family meals are really important. I couldn’t agree more. There’s so much research out there in terms of the benefits of family meals, you know, not just in terms of nutrition, but just psychologically, socially, emotionally, academically. It’s kind of amazing.

What would you say for families who are really busy and overscheduled? Like, how can they get these family meals in if they’re if they’re one of those families that have kind of different schedules?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 16:08

I think there’s many different types of families and different types of family units. And if if the whole family unit can’t be together, you know, three nights a week at least, then maybe it’s whoever is the responsible adult taking care of the house at that time. Whatever caregiver is present, whether it’s a nanny or a babysitter or grandparent, it’s them heading up this initiative. And it doesn’t have to be a home cooked like Michelin starred meal. I mean, it could be something very simple that incorporates lean proteins and vegetables and also demonstrates proper portion sizes.

All things that are, you know, healthy for children. So if it can’t be the traditional family unit, as we think about it, it’s it’s whatever caregiver is able and it doesn’t have to be dinner in different households. It could be breakfast or it could be lunch. It’s whatever works for the family unit and fitting it into the schedule the same way you fit, like baseball practice or dance practice. It needs to be something that is that important that it’s scheduled as well.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 17:12

Yeah. No, absolutely. And I’m glad you said it doesn’t have to be dinner, because I remember as a young psychologist, like reading all of this, the importance of family dinners. And actually in the in the research, that’s how it was. That’s how they talked about it.

Because, you know, again, way back when that was the main family family meal. But and I remember going like, but I work some evenings, you know this is going to be really hard. And so we would have, we would have weekend like really nice breakfasts where we’d all sit together. And that was kind of like one of our not the only ones, but that was like one of our main things is we had we could have a nice breakfast leisurely together. So I love that.

And it doesn’t have to be home cooked. It just has to be like proper nutrition. Sitting down screens in another, in another place. Connect. Connecting, bonding associated with pleasure.

Really?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 18:01

Absolutely. All of that. That screen thing that you just mentioned is super important. So there is a huge increase risk of obesity. It’s strongly correlated with watching screens while eating.

So no screens while eating is very important and better for the family unit as a whole because it allows for more communication. So that’s really important to separate eating from screens.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 18:24

I’m thinking about people who, like, eat in front of a TV, you know, not necessarily dinner, but like just snack and just how you’re not. It’s like the opposite of mindfulness, right? So how when when you’re really eating mindfully, you’re really noticing the texture and the smell and the taste in your mouth or the the sensation in your mouth even before you chew, and how when you’re in front of a screen, people are just like shoveling food in and they they have no awareness. So it also seems like it would lead to people eating too much, you know, and not paying attention, not really enjoying the tastes and the textures, and definitely not connecting with family in quite the same way.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 19:03

Yes, lots of overeating in those circumstances, so trying to avoid screens while eating is universally important.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 19:10

Yeah, good. What else would you say are some tips for, you know, the kids who say I only like orange foods or I only like you got three food groups? What other tips would you give for parents?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 19:25

So I think that the when I go back to like having kids help you cook and touch the food and go to the grocery store together and making the experience involve the child more. So that way they can go through the store with you and say, these are the things that I like, and you can find things that might be similar. And so it’s it’s letting them have some ownership and be involved in the meal planning, in the grocery shopping, in what’s being served. So I think offering them that capability, but then also not being afraid to parent during those situations and say, like, I appreciate that your preferred color is orange, but green is actually what’s most nutritious for our brain. And so let’s find a way together that we can introduce some green things into the diet.

So whether you’re adding kale to a smoothie that is masked by the pineapple taste to it, or you’re stuffing spinach and kale like into a pasta dish, there are ways not to hide the food. I think it’s important for the children to know that it’s there, but that it could still be liked. And so I don’t think we could just take the answer. No, I don’t want that. I think we have to then find some compromise or demonstrate that that’s not really healthy for you as a child.

We’re going to find ways to still incorporate it that excite excites you, right?

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 20:50

No, that that makes sense. And I hear in what you’re saying also that you want to give the kids some control, you know, and ownership because otherwise it becomes a power struggle.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 21:02

Exactly.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 21:03

Yeah. I’m thinking about, like, just for a little kid. Do you want three green beans or do you want five? You know, do you want the carrots crunchy or cooked tonight? You know, like, if you’re gonna do a little bit of give and take again, not once the once it’s served, it’s served.

But, you know, like you said in the kitchen leading up to it or even just about how much. Yeah, but but giving some control and going in the grocery store together and kind of thinking about, you know, you can have some snacks, but not we shouldn’t be like half the grocery cart is snacks and a tiny bit of vegetables. It should be like the opposite.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 21:38

Right, exactly.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 21:40

Lunches. Do. Do the parents ever ask you about lunches? Because I know most kids pack pretty, pretty heavy, snack filled lunches these days, And it’s hard because they’ve got the peer pressure.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 21:52

Is a tough one.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 21:53

Really yummy lunches.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 21:54

Yes.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 21:55

And even in my own district, it’s been something that has upset me so much. The lunches that are offered to kids in my particular district, it’s something that is really like not healthy for children. If you were to get these lunches every day. And and so I think it can be very hard. I think one snack is okay, but you shouldn’t be having like chips and cookies and a treat and then an after school snack that is also similar to this, like plus dessert after dinner.

This is not healthy lifestyles. So we really have to find the balance. And find foods that are not based again in like carbohydrates and sweets that we can pack in a lunch that excite a child. Yes, a treat is okay, but nobody can have three treats a day and be healthy. So it’s it’s finding other things, things that excite them, that are healthy.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 22:54

No, that’s that’s excellent.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 22:56

And I think you’re what you’re saying is the hot lunches, at least in our area.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 23:00

Yes.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 23:01

Are more like fast food type of things. So if your child wants to participate in it and the whole system isn’t yet changing to like offer these really healthy options, limiting how many hot lunches and then making more at home.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 23:19

Right. And I get it like I’m a full time working mom. I know how hard this is to pack a lunch. But I have personally in my house, I have a second grader and a fifth grader. I’ve taken some of that stress off myself by making them pack their lunches since they were in kindergarten. And it actually gives them a lot of ownership and independence, and they’re really proud to do it.

They know that their lunch is allowed to have a treat, but it also has to have a vegetable and a fruit and a protein and that without all those components you don’t get a treatment. And they actually cook it all themselves since they were in kindergarten. And that has taken.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 23:57

An example of what they what they would put in their lunch. This is awesome.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 24:01

Yeah. Well, so this morning my second grader made herself chicken nuggets. Which were we get them from Costco. They’re like, I don’t know, they look healthier. I don’t know if they’re actually healthier, but hey, she paired it with like carrots and strawberries.

So I felt okay about it. It’s not like we’re perfect all the time. But she she packed herself that. And my older daughter actually made herself macaroni, which she put into a container and then packed it with fruits and vegetables as well, so that not every meal here is fancy. But I don’t have time to make them lunches every day.

And so. But it also gives them control.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 24:38

Over the process.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 24:40

Yeah, exactly. And they will still love macaroni more than something fancy or, you know, fish that I’m serving. But at least they feel like they they have control. They get to eat what their preferred food is at lunch, and then at dinner. It’s up to us.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 24:55

Oh, I love that. Yes, that is really, really great. Yeah. No, I absolutely love that. I think about when kids come to us, it’s usually around eating issues.

It’s usually when there’s big time power struggles happening. And so I just keep thinking about the control piece because like, you know, you can’t really control what someone puts in their mouth at the end of the day. But you can control what’s available. You can control if they’re hungry or if they’ve, you know, literally mashed all day long, you know. And again, just controlling from an early age that they have practice, you know, making sure they have practice with balanced eating what that looks like.

You know, not not saying you can never have snacks. There’s there shouldn’t be probably any foods that are never allowed. Right. Like never. They’re not good.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 25:48

Because we want to have, like, positive relationships with eating. And that goes both ways. We don’t want to be so strict that you’re creating eating disorders in children. And that’s a huge issue too. So we really want there to be positive the whole family unit to have a positive relationship with eating.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 26:07

I love that.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 26:09

When Dr. Lieberman, when would you say a parent should get professional outside help? And when I say that, I mean even beyond, you know, asking you for help, like when do they need truly a special kind of therapy around eating?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 26:27

So this comes up often in my practice as well. I’ll have I encourage people to have visits with their pediatrician just to talk about healthy eating and how to, you know, strategies to eat better. But there are children who definitely need more more time, more care, more expertise, and something we call feeding therapy. Typically, I refer out for feeding therapy. If your child is someone who, like, can’t even go to a restaurant.

So if you were going to go to a regular restaurant, I don’t mean, you know, an unusual type of food, but just your everyday restaurant and you’re packing things for your child, like your diaper bag is full of snacks that you’re giving your child because you can’t order off the menu for them at a restaurant. That is an example of someone who needs feeding therapy. These are typically people who like like foods, beige colored foods. It could be any type of like cracker bread product. That’s all they really all they eat.

Those are the types of people who really belong in feeding therapy. So if we can’t get into them enough nutrition and protein in fruit and vegetable, where they even have one fruit, one vegetable, one protein in their repertoire, then it really they need to get extra help to to fuel their brain.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 27:49

Yeah. No, I think that’s really, really helpful and good to know. And I know there’s there’s definitely different disciplines who also engage like I know ot sometimes work with, you know, this kind of thing around the sensory experience of foods and eating. And I know speech therapists who do some of these feeding therapies. So it’s it’s interesting that there’s a lot of different professionals who are able to.

But it sounds like, yes, if it’s really hindering the day to day, we all eat every day hopefully. Right. And so if it’s hindering that day to day experience, it sounds like they kind of need more. But it sounds like first they should talk to their pediatrician because pediatricians hopefully are like you and have a lot of tricks up their sleeve and have, I’m sure, seen it all.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 28:35

Absolutely. And I think most importantly too, going back to the control issue, well, we want to give our kids some degree of autonomy in any area of parenting, whether it’s eating, whether it’s sleep, behavior, whatever it is, it’s all about the parent maintaining control, which sounds so easy, but it’s actually so hard because the kids tantrum and then we get upset and then we’re too tired to deal with it. And so we allow the children to start taking over the control in the house. And so it’s finding ways, as the parent to regain the control, to be the one in charge. And then that helps every aspect of parenting, including eating.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 29:13

Right. Right.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 29:14

And I’m sure you support parents as much as the kids around, you know, when your child is freaking out and they’re ten and they’re running like you’re I’m starving, you know? So how do you know I’m not really starving my children? How do you maintain calm? How do I not burst into tears every single meal and just stay like, stay my ground in a nurturing and calm manner and know that you’re really setting yourself, your child, up for success in their future by helping them now, as opposed to like quickly getting the tantrum under control by giving them a cheese stick? But then the same thing happens the next night and the next night.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 29:54

Exactly. And I’ve been there. So I speak as a pediatrician, but as a parent who has dealt with the tantrum of like 1000 and, you know, made wrong steps and then needed to correct them. So. Right.

I appreciate it as a parent and as a pediatrician.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 30:09

Absolutely, absolutely.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 30:11

This has been so helpful. Is there anything I did not officially ask you about in this realm of picky eating that you think is really important for parents to know?

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 30:21

No, I think we hit upon all the right topics. Just don’t be afraid. It’s okay to put your kid to bed without dinner. They will be okay in the morning. So have the you know, the be brave, be courageous and do that family dinner.

Offer them the different types of foods and it pays off. I promise, promise, promise. It pays off.

Dr. Leigh Weisz: 30:43

No, that makes a lot of sense. It’s supposed to be pleasurable to eat as a family. And so it sounds like you kind of have to do the hard work when they’re younger, so that you can enjoy it for years and years to come. And so the child can enjoy different foods and be healthy for years and years to come. Well, thank you so much, Dr. Lieberman, for spending your time with us today and giving us some of your tips.

Enjoy! Everyone should come check out more episodes of our podcast. Please go to copingpartners.com and click on Podcast and Articles. And as always, thank you so much for tuning in. And again, thank you, Dr. Lieberman for being here.

Dr. Emily Lieberman: 31:24

Thank you.

Outro: 31:25

Thank you for listening to The Coping Podcast. We’ll see you again next time. And be sure to click subscribe to get future episodes and check out our podcast page at copingpartners.com.